In this article, I am talking about whether are narcissists evil or ill as partners, spouses, or boyfriends, not as parents; that’s a whole different scenario. Narcissistic people have been found throughout history; however, people have grown more aware of this personality disorder in the last decade.
Table of Contents
Signs of narcissism
- Sense of entitlement and superiority
- Manipulative
- Need for attention and admiration
- Arrogance
- No empathy
- Blaming others and deflecting
- No sense of boundaries
- Lack of responsibility
What is malignant Narcissism?
Malignant narcissists are the evilest and most harmful to others among different narcissists. Social psychologist Erich Fromm Who first gave the term ‘Malignant Narcissism, called them “the quintessence of evil.”
Malignant Narcissists have a darker side to their self-love. They have antisocial traits and don’t care who they hurt as long as it can get them what they want. They have a sadistic streak with a poor sense of self.
Some more signs of malignant Narcissism include
- Looking at the world in terms of either friend or enemy
- Wanting to win at any cost, even if it causes the loved ones a great amount of pain, stress, or even heartbreak
- No empathy for others or what pain they may cause others sometimes even enjoy the pain they are crushing their loved ones because it feels empowering to them
Causes of Malignant Narcissism
Narcissists don’t feel a sense of well-being if others also have a sense of well-being. They think they need to dominate other people’s lives in every way possible for self-preservation. Feelings like care, love, and empathy make people able to make space for others in their lives. In the case of narcissists, they don’t feel these emotions; instead, they will feel challenged to oppress and invade other people’s space. They have this inherent need to tyrannize and bully others into validating their fragile egos.
Some Narcissists are less toxic than others but still may cause, if not physical, then surely a psychological wound.
Although the exact cause of Narcissism is not known, some studies say Narcissist Personality Disorder develops as a result of no. factors
- Over-parental pampering or overly authoritarian parenting
- Abuse
- Unpredictable care
Narcissism has a higher risk of developing in a close relative of people with Narcissist personality disorder.
Research published in 2021 found people with Narcissist personality disorder have altered grey and white matter.
Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) curable?
It is almost impossible to cure an NPD because people with NPD often play mind games with their therapists. They tend to be skilled in interpersonal communication skills. They have very superficial personalities with only the motive of finding a supply to feed their ego in a vain attempt to feel better about their shallow self.
In short, they don’t allow themselves to be vulnerable enough for therapy to work on them.
How do Narcissists operate?
Narcissism can’t live alone. They can charm you or make you sympathetic or become your best friend for a short period and thus accelerate the relationship into deeper stages of intimacy which usually take years. They need a volunteer to abuse and shame. They will blame everything on that person for not having the competence to respond to their level. They will even warn that person about how they might not be a good partner. Narcissists do this because later on, they can cite that they did warn and everything happened because the volunteer wanted it. It was their choice. Thus, emotionally caging that person by their own decisions makes them feel guilty for things that were not their own doing.
Sadly, the people who fall in love with NPD take it as a challenge. Naively ignoring all the red flags in their relationship, thinking their love will change them and they will have their happily ever after. Their optimism that everything will be good while ignoring their gut instincts telling them to beware of that person.
Narcissists will then groom the person according to their way until they lose their way of thinking, their life, and everything in it. Thus, slowly the victim becomes an object with no shine left to them.
What do people abused by Narcissists say about them?
People who are victims of NPD say that NPD sucks the life out of them till the time they lose themselves. This, makes them give up on everything they once thought was right, making them so confused that they start doubting their sense of right or wrong in life.
They mainly trap and confuse the victim to carry on with them despite all they do is lie, abuse, and cheat. Victims get so manipulated that they hardly know if they were abused or if they willingly got involved in making a preferred set of choices.
How can victims of NPD make a complete recovery?
Victims are usually so scared of NPD that they typically get support from family and friends. But for complete recovery, the victims need to take some responsibility for their willingness, even though they were coerced to cooperate in destroying themselves. The fact that victims themselves (due to manipulation) compromised their standards, rules, morals, and sexual habits.
The healing starts when the victim acknowledges their naïve foolishness for falling into narcissist schemes. The upside is that they learn about such people and the major red flags and the early triggering signs that alert them if ever they again meet a narcissist.
Eventually, victims can get out of this cage where their worth has been degraded and the subhuman treatment they got. Victims don’t get closure till the time they understand their behavior and why they fall for such an evil person. They need to realize that a partner is just a supplier for a narcissist.
Narcissism v/s evil
Are narcissists evil? This question keeps popping into the minds of those who encountered such people in their lives. Narcissists can’t have a situation where everyone is getting something, and they have this inherent need not to let anyone else thrive.
Conclusion- are narcissists evil or ill
So in short they are evil and toxic and to be able to live your life happily, you need to maintain zero contact with them. They may try many things if you ignore them but you must remain strong and no matter what, do not give them any leeway to control and ruin your life again.
Read more about what happens when you ignore a narcissist here
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Dr Amit Sharma is a Doctor and writer with a particular interest in mental health. He helps individuals by combining practical advice with emotional support.