Personally, I feel cheating is a deal breaker in any relationship. The very thought of being cheated makes me sick. I have experienced being cheated on in a relationship, and the pain still lingers, but right now, let’s discuss do Borderlines cheat on their favourite person.
According to stats, 40 per cent of people around the world have cheated once in their lifetime. Hence, it isn’t only the BPD-afflicted people cheating. It has been researched many times, but a link between BPD and increased likelihood of cheating has yet to be found.
Table of Contents
Is BPD a serial cheater’s personality disorder?
Recently, a friend’s cheating wife, whom he married six years ago and has three beautiful kids, now wants a divorce. I talked with her to find out her side of the matter. She feels It is all my friend’s mistake as he is very unromantic. She wants to feel loved and the thrill of excitement of a risky relationship. She has connected with her ex-flame, who apparently provides her with everything.
BPD and cheating
People with BPD seek sex as a way to fill the void inside them
Signs a BPD is cheating
– They want to spend time separately
– Their phone has numerous calls from an unknown number
– They make excuses when you want to get intimate with them
– They are secretive about their phone and emails
– They start picking fights unnecessarily with you out of nowhere
– They lie about their whereabouts
– They don’t want you to mingle with their group of friends.
– They start accusing you of controlling them
– They become emotionally absent
– They always want space.
Ways in which BPD affects people’s sex life
1. Desiring sex constantly
2. Uninterested in sex with their long-term partners or spouses
3. Cycling between wanting sex all the time to not wanting it completely
4. Gravitating towards casual hookups
5. From interested in sex to disinterested in sex quickly
6. Sex as a means to get validation
7. They feel rejected when a partner doesn’t want sex or orgasm
8. Likes the thrill of flings
9. Never initiate sex
10. Can’t deal with sex as it makes them feel disgusted
11. Feeling dissociated during physical intimacy
12. Scared of physical relations
13. Frequently changing sexual partners
14. Wanting rough foreplay for validation
15. Insecurity makes sex interesting for them
BPD and relationships
Do Borderlines cheat on their favourite person.The thing with BPD is that they start a relationship very intensely, but it will last for a very short time.
People with BPD have difficulty following things in a relationship
– Maintaining relationships
– Feel unloved and unwelcome
– Have bad or self-image
– Blame themselves for everything
– Impulsive reactions to every little thing
– Lack of self-control
– Feel abandoned
– Engaging in risky behaviours such as gambling un, protected sex, or doing drugs
Why do people with BPD stray away from their partners?
Psychology of infidelity
Cheating occurs when one person feels they can use another person and take them for granted.
According to experts, a person’s self-esteem plays a significant role in why a person cheats or has flings. People manipulate and lie because they don’t have the attachments and responsibility that comes with a relationship.
So, the BPD patients cheat due to their low self-esteem and thus feel overwhelmed by their feelings for their partners. BPD feels numb, and then, to find some control over their lives, they indulge in one-night stands, alcohol or drugs, trying to mask their real problem.
Similarly, suppose in a relationship, a man or woman has unrealistic expectations of their partners and gets disappointed that things don’t go accordingly. In that case, it leads to bitterness and cheating.
Everyone has stressful situations in life. Some deal with it by looking for solutions, meditating and overcoming it. At the same time, people with BPD try to search for answers by engaging in illicit activities like unprotected sex or having trouble controlling their urges.
Reasons for BPD cheating
– Emotional dysregulation and impulsivity
– Not able to internalise attachments in a relationship
– Seeking validation and comfort
– Splitting on your favourite person (splitting is when you can only concentrate and think about all negative things and nothing good
– When they feel lonely and want someone to talk to but are not good at making friends.
– Identity disturbance
– Self-harming destructive behaviours
Final thoughts: Do Borderlines cheat on their favourite person
Some or most BPD partners cheat due to revenge for imagined abandonment from their favourite person. They are convinced their famous person, who is also their partner, doesn’t love them and has other people for whom they would abandon them, so the BPD partners leave first. In this way, they won’t feel humiliated. Sex flings seem like an affirmation to the BPD sufferers that they are good enough.
Remember, we should not have preconceived notions about any illness. Instead, we should start by developing empathy, understanding and building relationships on foundations of trust.
Common FAQs on Do borderlines cheat on their favourite person
– Can BPD patients stop their cheating behaviours
Yes, prop, er help in the form of psychotherapy, like diabetically therapy, can help the BPD patient develop coping strategies. Even couple counselling can help the couple learn about how to handle the challenges that a couple faces.
– Can a person with BPD have a successful relationship?
Suppose BPD patient is provided with proper therapy and patience from their loved ones. In that case, they can build a successful and healthy relationship.
– Is cheating a symptom of BPD
As of yet, no link has been found between BPD and cheating, but BPD patients do have a problem controlling their impulses and emotions. When these are dysregulated, the relationship gets affected.
– How can we support our loved ones with BPD?
Understanding patience, encouragement to get treated, and wanting to get well is the key to treating them.
– Is BPD treatable?
Yes, by medication, cognitive behaviour therapy and diabetical behaviour therapy, BPD can be treated.
Read all about do borderlines come back after discard
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Dr Amit Sharma is a Doctor and writer with a particular interest in mental health. He helps individuals by combining practical advice with emotional support.