How to handle narcissists and household work in your life?

Introduction

It is the difficult splitting of household duties within normal couples. However, in the case of narcissists and household work, you will end up feeling like a servant. What happens with narcissists is that they say one thing while they mean another.

Narcissists tend to convince their partners to do most of the household work and worry about all that is happening in life while they sit back and take credit for all the handwork.

The narcissist word has become very common nowadays and is thrown around very commonly for someone who is too vain or self-centered but it is much more than that. So, what exactly is narcissism?

Symptoms of narcissism

Five symptoms of narcissism are

– Too much self-importance

– Excessive feeling of specialness

– Fantasizing about being the epitome of perfection

– Constant need for praise and attention

– Feels entitled

– Feels no empathy

– Extremely manipulative

– Arrogant, jealous, and very distrustful

Among the 10 personality disorders, NPD is the most difficult one to handle.

Although everyone has their moments where they believe they are the best person for the job or the best-looking person in the room when this becomes excessive that it starts to affect how you think, feel and behave and it has started to disturb your relationship and work then you may be suffering from NPD.

Narcissists and household work

At the beginning of a relationship, the narc may act very generous but once they know they have charmed you and you are not going to leave them. They start to do less and become demanding. Until they don’t do anything and everything is done by their partner.

Narcissists think they are so important they are above housework. They don’t feel any shame and embarrassment in the fact that others are picking up after them.

Why do narcissists stay filthy?

• Narcissists are dirty and disorganized deliberately because they think they are above such mundane chores.
• They may also show such things for you to pity them and their lowly status.
• They feel powerful when someone cleans after their friend or spouse.
• It allows them to have their personal space and no one else would want to come into their messy personal space.

What can you do in case of narcissists and household work?

• Set some boundaries

Don’t do everything your partner asks you to do. Being in love with someone does not entail becoming their doormat. Make sure your partner understands that it’s a partnership and what all you expect from it.

• Discuss chore splitting in the case of narcissists and household work

Let the Narcissist know that you intend to split chores with him/her by asking them which days will work best for them to do the laundry or dishes. Narcissists try to control the situation but you should be clear about it. On the days they need help with household duties.

• Chalk up a schedule for the narcissists and household work

You will have to write down the list of things a narcissistic partner must do. Clear mention of their days and your days will help you a lot as then they would have no way of denying it.

• Shower praises on your NPD Partner

Praise them when they do the work. The complement is crucial to narcissists. Encourage them to tidy up, and show appreciation for all of their efforts. Tell them how much you value the effort they have put in.

• When faced with criticism from NPD Partner 

If a narcissistic partner criticizes your efforts then try to do all your portion of chores when they aren’t there to criticize you or your way of doing things. If they say you don’t do anything then do all the household duties in front of them.

• Explain the benefits of a clean home to the narc

Along with your therapist try explaining to the narcissists the benefit of a clean home. The therapists may help you escape any manipulation that the narc pulls to avoid the work. 

• Take care of yourself

Recent research has shown that the partners and caregivers of narcissists always have high levels of depression and anxiety.

You should always put your feelings and needs above others because they are important for your well-being. Therapist counseling may be for good for your situation and will help you deal with your situation.

Conclusion about Narcissists and household work

What you can do is respond but don’t act out anything. Don’t show how much they have managed to anger you and hurt you in their presence.

Be so uninteresting and reactionless that they find you quite boring and then they stop attempting to upset or control you.

Narcissists often leave their work to others. The narcissist always expects their partners to pick up after them. You can’t always say no to their demands otherwise they will just become abusive toward you. They think they are entitled to all the rest in the world while their partner breaks their backs working day and night.

Read about What Do Narcissists Do When You Ignore Them?

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